'Fun' Little Ideas That Seem To Cross Everyone's Minds, And All My Tangents As A Response.

Hey Ya'll!
So I know I haven't posted any rants and whatnots for eons now, and I feel awful for that!
I sorries!
 Life has taken a sharp turn for the busy, but Allhamdullillah, in a very good way! Weddings to go to, parties to plan, packing for Pakiland (yes, I'll be headed there soon Inshallah!! ) so all in all, busy but fun.

I've had a lot of things that I've wanted to write about but because I haven't had the opportunity, they're still bullet-point ideas in a notebook. However, recent inquires have made, at least this entry, an absolute necessity. So, I hope my life and rants continue to entertain you as you read on! xD

Now, as I stated above, Inshallah I'll be headed to Pakiland soon. The most exciting, and frightening, thing about it is that this will be my first solo trip there.
0____0 is the constant state of my mind and face lately.
But the interesting thing on the part of everyone else, is that no one wants to believe that I'm going to Pakiland just for the sake of meeting my family. I won't say everyone, but QUITE a few people think I'm heading over there to trap me a man! (Yes it's one of those entries. Brace yourselves).

So yeah, this is the common misconception of my life at the moment. That I am going to Pakistan to find a husband and live happily ever after with him, I, and that tantalizing green card.
Because you know. I can't get a guy here.
Nothing to do with the fact that I am not interested in getting married at the moment.
Or that I've told my parents no Rishtas.
Or that I'm focusing on loans and school.
It's because I CAN'T get a guy here, so I'm going there. Where some guy is bound to yes, if only for the allure of coming to America.

............
Seriously?!!?
Can I get a break in this department, because that would just be greatly appreciated.

I don't know what this blog should be considered - a rant? a public awareness announcement? a hissyfit?
Whatever it is, it is being typed as I think, to relay one major message: I do not want to get married right now.
Again:

SOBIA IS NOT INTERESTED IN GETTING MARRIED RIGHT NOW.

I have horrendous loans on my head, an education with minuscule-ly slow progress, and no job experience.
Marriage is definitely not on the top of my priority list. Or even in the middle.
It's actually floating somewhere at the bottom amongst  travelling to the moon and adopting a penguin to raise in Texas.
Look, I'm not saying that if the right guy happened to drop into my life and get down on one knee (metaphorically speaking) that I would say no. That's just silly. But so far as I can see, my right guy hasn't made an appearance in my life yet, so! Back to the blog.

My most major concern is paying off my loans, which will take a while. But I just can't see myself going into a marriage with x-amount of loans as baggage. The way I see it, PCOS is enough baggage. I'm not keen on adding anything more with that, especially considering all that PCOS encompasses. (If you need a refresher, here's the link:http://sobiasiddiqui.blogspot.com/2011/09/be-warned-we-will-be-discussing-lot-of.html)
So just for general knowledge, here is the plan for the next couple of years of my life (Inshallah Inshallah Inshallah!)
1- Get a Job.
2- Pay of loans with said Job.
3- Finish getting a degree from somewhere.

And then we'll see.
Without that, I feel like I have nothing to offer. Am I just supposed to walk into marriage with the promise of a fabulous personality and a football team of children, and hope everything works out peachy-keen?? Sarcasm intended indeed.
I want to work when I get married.
I'm not trying to bash the housewife aspire-ers. I actually really commend housewives because they are able to manage life with a grace that I just do not possess. But I aspire to be a worker. Either a teacher or a social worker, or something. But I'm not one of the girls that the life of a housewife is suited for, at all. So I can't go into a marriage without a means of working.
Don't get me wrong, I do want my husband to be the breadwinner and, please, take care of me. Whether we live in a 4 bedroom house, or a dinky single-room apartment, I don't care. I just want to be taken care of by my husband. With my paycheck I can take care of things like my little luxuries, or gifts we're supposed to give, or little house needs, etc etc. But those things. I want to work, and I want to be cared for, and I want to be a partner to my husband, who can take care of him as much as he can take care of me. And considering all those wants that I am ill prepared for, it really isn't the time for me to be getting married right now.
Plus the other fact of the matter is that I am just enjoying my life a lot as it is. I'm in no rush to go changing something that's already been so good, Allhamdullillah.

So back from my tangent, no. No, to anyone who is curious or was curious, the answer is no. No I am not going to Pakistan to find a husband.
And you know what, while we're on this subject, allow me to specify why this would not be a possibility even if I was trying to get married.
Just like we grow up with a certain lifestyle in America, with habits and expectations, the same obviously applies to people all around the world (I know ya'll are all smart enough to put the whole abundance of differing cultures and social structures hand in hand, but this is just a quick reiteration).
And we expect all that, plus understanding and chemistry and all that jazz from our spouse.
Now maybe if I had been raised in a traditional Pakistani home, none of this would be an issue. But that's not how I was raised. Allhamdullillah, Ammi and Abu have always been quite open minded, trusting, and they have been open to growing with their kids. So while my parents are Pakistani, I am a Muslim American girl, with blended morals, interchanging speech with Urdu and English, and values from every aspect of my life.
Our experiences shape us. And my experiences have not shaped me to be a 'typical' Pakistani girl. Or even a 'typical' American girl. I don't know how you would define me, but I don't think it could be with one main adjective.
Anyhoo.

The point is, being raised in this mixed environment, I have grown up in an certain manner with certain ideas and habit.
None of which make me a good match for a guy living Pakistan with his own environment, manners, ideas and habit. Being family makes no difference here.
Now the list can go on and on, but here are the major reasons why my matrimony with a Paki dude in Pakiland, would just not work in this universe.

1 - I hate making chai. I mean seriously, I despise making chai. I'll make chai for my parents once a day because obviously, they're my parents. But even that is just... gawh!! I don't know why, but I hate making chai!  I like to drink chai, but because I don't like making it, I don't drink it often. But I don't think my liking or disliking chai would have anything to do with the expectation that I would have to make chai. And considering that this is a major aspect of the daily life in Pakistan, this loathing would not work.

2 - I don't like to clean. My house is not dirty, but it is very disorganized and cluttered. I've tried to fix this and it just doesn't work. I'm just naturally a disorganized person. Now in Pakistan the women have maasi's to come do the housework. We have maasi's here to. House cleaners. And they charge an arm and a leg. Not gonna happen. Even getting married to a guy here would mean calling someone maybe every 1-2 months, unless I get the spring cleaning bug. Which is very rare. But a guy brought up with a daily maasi would probably not adjust to my cluttered ways very easily..and probably with a lot of hostility...not good for a marriage. (On another quick side note - I know I'm implying that I'm not willing to change. Now while that's not exactly true, I'm clearly not willing to bend a whole lot. In my justification, I don't plan on going into a marriage with the intention of changing my husband either. That's gotta count for something).

3 - I do not cook. Ok no, I like to cook, but I do improv cooking. I like to experiment with new dishes, making them as well as dining out. I do not do the three times a day cooking. Actually I love to go out and try new restaurants. If I could name an ideal characteristic for a husband, it would be that he was as adventurous an eater as I am. And if I do ever get a craving for home food, there are plenty of restaurants that will cater to that need.

And that's just the beginning. There are so many little reasons for why things just couldn't work (at least not without a major miracle).
I'm very opinionated. If I see that something is wrong, I will shoot off my mouth. While I would never curse an adult, I don't think being an adult excuses anyone from making a mistake and owning up to that mistake. And...I tend to point that out. Which doesn't sit well with a lot of people. I get loud. I have an obnoxious laugh. If you try to ridicule me, I will do my best to one up you every time.
I love going out. I don't know if this would be an issue, but I don't see any reason to end friendships just because marriage is now a part of our lives - for either myself or my husband.
I can't take being yelled at. I know that when I get mad my voice escalates, which is why I try to stay calm but...anger is my worst enemy and it always seems to win. It's not something I'm proud of at all, but I know it's something that will be a matter to consider.
Meanwhile, on the opposing end, I can't take being yelled at (how hypocritical is that?) But the fact remains, I really can't deal with being yelled at. If my parents or my brother yell at me, it's bad enough. But if my husband, someone that I have allowed myself to be vulnerable and trusting with to a degree that I've never let anyone else near, yelled at me...I honestly don't know what I would do. I'd probably disappear from sheer hurt. Bawl my eyes out. Etc etc of the unpretty picture.

So all that. At least.
And then let's not forget the physical aspect of it all as well.
Ya'll know, I am no beauty queen. Now Allhamdullillah, I don't crack mirrors or anything. But you are not going to get a size double 0, fair skinned, frail looking Pakistani beauty. And that's just not in my control. With the PCOS I have maybe 15-20 pounds in control, but that's also constantly fluctuating. Everything else...will probably stay as is. And I've learned to be okay with that. Now most Paki dudes are not chubby-chasers so we'll just end that conversation here.
(Dang, I'm just painting the worst picture of myself in this blog aren't I? Lol. Well if a man wants to marry me after reading all this and the others, I guess I really couldn't doubt that he was the right one xD).

Now it seems like I'm bashing Paki dudes and all that jazz, but I promise I'm not trying to. We're playing into stereotypes here. People think that a single girl can only have one reason to go to Pakiland, and that's to get a man. That is not the case here, and I went through just about all the reasons why, as well as why my marrying a guy in Pakistan would probably, most likely, not work (admittedly, considering the most common stereotypes).
I don't know if that applies to the Paki dudes here, but the awesome thing about here is that there isn't a one race limit. Mashallah, there are Muslims off all backgrounds and races here. If I have to find a husband, when I'm ready, I will be looking for things like shared morals and values (and intelligence is always the biggest attracting factor, so there's that), not racial background. And who knows, if I end up marrying someone out of race, that would just be the best way to broaden my own understanding of everything. Now that is something to look forward to. But if he ends up being Paki I know a few people who will thank their lucky stars xD It makes no difference to me one way or another.
I mean yes I have a slight criteria, but then again, who doesn't.
And correct me if I'm wrong, but I think they're fairly standard - not a drinker or a smoker, hasn't dated (if I save myself, you save yourself. Fair, yes?), open minded, religiously solid (meaning he's a firm Muslim and actually follows the bulk of what he can in Islam), and about as social and adventurous as I am. Is that too much? Idk, that's the list I went off of when the rishtas were pouring in before I officially said no to all of it.

Mann, I don't know what Allah has in store for me. I don't know if and when I'm meant to get married, who to, how many kids, if any, I'm meant to have, etc etc. All I know is that, when it's supposed to happen, it will. And I'm putting my faith in that because mann, I don't do the whole hunting or rishtas deal. It's too emotionally draining.
So I figure, whenever things are supposed to happen, the right guy will just fall into my life and get the ball rolling (Inshallah) and I'm just going to leave everything at that.

So now you. What all came to your mind while reading this? Share all your thoughts! What do you think? I want opinions!