I cannot begin to explain how much I loathe this expression. I literally cannot stand to hear this expression.
In my opinion, people say this when they want nothing to do with you. People say this when they want you out of their lives.
It sounds extreme doesn't it? But It's true. After all, what does worrying mean?
When people worry about you, they care about you. Worry means someone thinks that you are important enough in their life that not only are they willing to take time out of their own lives for you, they are willing to take time out to be with you, and help you during the rough, not so pleasant times in your life.
You are important enough to them that they are voluntarily concerned about your well-being.
And then you turn around and tell them "Don't Worry".
How insulting.
That's like slapping someone in the face after they just told you they loved you.
Not cool yo.
I can understand where you're coming from when you say those Godawful words. Most of the time people say it when they don't want to stress other's out about their own lives. They feel that whatever it is, it's their own problem. Or maybe that the issue is not big enough to warrant a great deal of concern from other's. Whatever the reason, I figure people say the words due to un-selfish reasons. They just don't want to be a bother to others.
Sincerely from the Others: shut the hell up.
After all, isn't that what loved ones are for, friends and family alike?
Sure you don't want to be a 'bother' to them, but that's what makes the relationship. The fact that there are more than just neutral feelings (if there is such a thing). The fact that you give more than two shakes of the sympathy bottle for them.
For real, if you don't get it by now here's a review:
People who love you, care about you.
People who worry about you, CARE about you.
Sometimes they say things you don't like or don't want to hear.
They're just trying to help you, at least give them that acknowledgement.
Just because someone is worried about you does not make you the burden.
You are only a burden when you are a douche.
And you are a douche when you tell people not to worry so don't do that!
Again, the Moral of the story: Don't tell people not to worry - unless you're a douche. In which case, douche away. The friendship shouldn't last too long with that dynamic. That's my opinion of it anyways.
Like I said, I hate when people tell me not to worry. You're basically telling me not t care.
And if you don't want me to care that's fine. But once I stop caring, I usually don't care to start again.
My automatic thought process after someone has told me "Don't Worry" one too many times - "fine. you don't want me to care? I won't care."
Don't get me wrong, I understand one "Don't Worry" That's excusable. But If you tell me not to worry even after I've told you that I care about you, and it's no big deal, and all the other things that go with it, and then you tell me again after that - then I'm done.
To me that just means you don't want me to be a part of your life the way I thought you did.
Because here's the thing, I don't butt in. If you don't tell me your issues yourself, I won't say a word because it's not my place.
But if you tell me, if you confide in me, and then shut me out when I try to help then I just don't know how to take it. It makes me feel offended that's for sure. And if the relationship stays in that odd limbo then I don't really want anything to do with it.
Make sense?
It's making sense in my head, but maybe not as I type it out....
In any case, all relationships have an give and take factor, whether it's friendship, family, acquaintance, romantic, peer, etc.
When you cut the give or take from that, and only focus on either the give or take, well it throws things off balance, especially for me.
I'm not sure what the relationship means then, and I'm not sure how to handle it.
That's why having someone say "Don't Worry, I don't want you to worry," more than once or twice is very confusing, and kindof annoying because it ventures on being hostile. Again, not cool. If you don't want someone in your life say so. But don't do the whole- Imma give you all my confidence and trust, etc etc. But I'm not gonna take anything from you because I don't want it - It makes the other person think, why don't you want it? Did I offend you? Did I say something wrong? Why don't you want me in your life all of a sudden?
I used to feel exasperated when I heard too many "Don't Worries" and ask myself all those above questions. But now if someone says those annoying words with enough emotion and meaning behind it then I wash my issues of the issue too. Fine you don't want me to care, Then I don't care.
I have to wonder if anyone else has ever felt this way?
Or am i the only loon who gets upset over these words?
Well in any case, that's the convoluted rant for the night.
Remember, don't tell me "Don't Worry" unless you honestly want me to stop caring.
Now doesn't that sound douchey.
