So I was out the other day and came upon a very uncomfortable sight to see – there was a….’mature’ woman dressed like it was her first day in high school and she wanted to prove she was an adult...and failing at it.
And to make matters worse, while I was trying not to gawk, a young girl possibly a few years younger than I walked up to her saying “mom, can I get this necklace?”
….I’m sooooo judging right now.
Lady how are you gonna dress even younger than your teenage daughter?? Does this not boggle anyone else’s mind?
I’m all for looking young and feeling young, but I do think there is a way to do it all. Looking young, and looking like a juvenile are two different things. I can tell you now, I don’t like seeing women who dress like they’re teenagers. Why? Because it makes me feel sorry for them. I feel sorry that at their age, and with their life experience, they have not learned to age gracefully. In doing so, they portray themselves as clinging to their youth in a desperate attempt to thwart aging.
The silly thing of it is, I don’t see why aging is seen as such a negative thing. Yeah you’re getting older. So is everyone else on earth. Join the club? Seriously though, you don’t need to make an excuse for aging, it’s a natural part of life. What we need to do is learn how to age gracefully and without losing ourselves.
The best example I have (a completely bias example, I admit) is of my own mother and father.
They’re in their mid-life ages, and they know it. But that doesn’t mean that they’re dismayed by it. My parents dress according to their age, they always have from what I know. When my father was young he wore chains and colorful shirts according to the fashion in his time. And my mom and her sisters have admitted to wearing new fashion styles as they came out in Nigeria and later in Pakistan. They lived out their time and had fun with the fashions.
And now that they’re adults they have their own sense of fashion. My father is usually in jeans or dress pants, or in a tradition salwar kamiz. And my mother is usually in a salwar kamiz or pant-shirt if we have to go out. But even then, her salwar kamiz are not glittery and sparkly all over the place. Where once she wore reds and oranges with tons of little jewels, she wears silky blues and elegant purples. Even with her American clothes, she went from wearing colorful flowery maxi dresses, to simple dress pants and long shirts with a scarf.
Occasionally my parents will break out a colorful out of this world outfit, but it’s usually for a big thing like a wedding or Eid. And even then, they don’t seem like they’re trying to recapture their youth, but are just re-visiting it with a fond eye.
So having parents like these, who know what it means to age, and do it gracefully and with a fond eye, I feel I have a sense of age appropriate dressing. My mother hates to wear more colorful clothing than me. Anytime she gets sparkly jewelry she passes it to me saying ‘oh, this is too showy for me. But it will look nice on my daughter!’ without malice. And you know what? I’m looking forward to that age too, when I go from being young and colorful, to grown and graceful.
It’s not difficult to make aging elegant, unless you try with your dear might to hold on to your youth.
Mothers of young adult and teenage daughters: look, I understand that you work hard to maintain your figure and look good for your age. And you know what, you do look good for your age. But ladies you need to let people realize that by dressing for your age.
When you look good but dress like an adolescent, I don’t think people think you look good for your age, I think they think you don’t know just how old you are. You and your daughter should not be shopping in the same aisles!
I hope to never see another middle-aged mother, or any aged mother for that matter, in a strapless top again. Please, layoff the mini-skirts, the halter tops, the PINK or JUICY sweatpants. Wear them at home if you have to. But for the love of the public eye, dress like you have sense when you’re outside!
Obviously just because you have growing kids doesn’t mean you let go of what it means to be fashion savvy. But learn to be chic in according to your age. After all, there is a reason they have all those racks labeled juniors and miss. All of us have to make that switch eventually.
We just need to learn to make that switch with a positive perspective on aging, and mercy to the people with sight around us.
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