Warning: It's Kind of a Rant

I read a status on facebook that's got me thinking. I wont copy-paste the status because I feel like that would be a privacy violation, but the gist of it was that a Muslim brother said he thought wearing tights in public was stupid because it's like being naked while wearing clothes - sure youre covered, but does it matter if the world can still see the shape of your body?

I was very surprised to see that the comments, from other Muslims were bashing the original poster, saying he had no right to judge, etc etc. When the Muslim women replied, it was blatantly obvious that they were offended by this status, and went on to defend themselves.

Here's where I got thinking - why are the Muslim women so offended?

ok, I understand no one has the right to judge another (although the fact of the matter is, we all judge). And i admit, the wording in the status was harsh. But do I disagree with it? No.

One of the women that replied wrote on about how she prays, she fasts, etc. etc. and messages like this are very discouraging to her and all Muslim women alike. She also wrote that women should be approached with gentleness if change is wanted, and that the Muslim brother shouldn't look in the first place if it bothers him.

Being a Muslim woman myself, I have to say I disagree.

(Be warned, here comes the long tangent)

I dont know if youve noticed but if you ever say something religiously critical, whether it is directed at someone or not, the people around you will get defensive. The 'I pray, I fast, I am a Muslim' argument is quite over used. What i dont understand is, why do people think this a defense?

People need to learn to separate personal actions from public actions and realize they are two different things, that dont necessarily stand up for the other.

You praying and fasting has nothing to do with the topic. Why? Because that is strictly between you and Allah. Whether you pray or not, no one will know unless you tell them. Whether you are fasting or not, no one will know unless you tell them (or unless you eat right in front of everyone).

But the what you wear - everyone sees that.

How you act - everyone observes that.

And you know what, everyone, Muslim or not, will judge.

And I feel like saying he shouldnt look has no validity. You have to look where youre going, and you cant help if every other woman that crosses your path is in tights. I actually feel a little better knowing there is a Muslim brother out there who, when he comes across a Muslim woman actually feel angry disappointed and concerned enough to let it bother him. I feel better knowing that he is not one of the many men who will look at a woman who displaying her body and think lustful thoughts, however briefly. Thank you for caring? (Indeed).

I think, if you are old enough that you can choose your religion, you are old enough to realize you need to follow the religion properly.

If you are a hijabi, and youre out with your head covered but with your body and legs still showing because youre dressing inappropriately and your clothes are too tight, well then I have to ask - what are you doing?

If youre a Muslima, and you have made the decision to represent your religion to the world, for the love of Allah do it right!

-Back to the status-

Like I said, I quite agree with the status. I read the replies, and I thought they were overly defensive. That just tells me that you know you need to change, but you dont want to accept it and feel upset that someone is pointing out a blatant wrong in a harsh manner. (Mind you this was a general status, not directed at one particular person).

Sure, there are nicer ways of putting things. But from my experiences, there's a limit to how nicely you can explain things to adults. Children, growing teens, yes they need kindness.

But if youre an adult, learn to take general criticism and turn it into something positive - a tool that you can use to make yourself better. Instead of defending yourself for the wrong reason.

Honestly, how are you going to be a proud Muslim woman and then defend wearing skin tight clothes?

If youre wrong, youre wrong. Dont defend your wrong (what!). Admit it, and try to grow from and out of it.

Now! I cant just preach to the choir and pretend I'm just all-righteous and perfect (Allah knows I'm not by a long shot) And it would be hypocritical of me to reprimand without setting an example, right?

So now I'm going to take my own advice - give a personal confession and take my own personal steps toward a resolution.

Confession: I curse like a sailor! It's a very, very bad habit.

Resolution: I will control my anger, and I will hold my tongue. If I feel a curse word bubbling, I will make an effort to replace it with a Bismillah/Subhanallah.

Inshallah