Musigs before Fajr

Today is the first day of Ramadan. I would say 'I got up feeling' but really, I didnt sleep all night. I spent my whole night getting cleaner than clean, showering, cutting and de-polishing my nails, etc etc. and just reflecting over the 19 Ramadans I have lived through.

I remember being 4 and waking up with Abu to do Sehri. We ate Kajla and Pehni with cold milk and prayed Fajr together before I plopped back to bed and he headed off for work. Ammi only let me keep half-day fasts back then. But then when I turned 6 I was allowed to keep my first whole roza, and Farhan started his half day rozas, and we competed with the neighberhood kids over who could keep the most rozas.
I remember the Ramadan I wasnt able to keep a single roza, and then 5 years later the Ramadan where I could keep all my rozas. And the one just last year where I had Spaghetios for Sehri and salads for Iftaar, when Nickkie and Sue had late dinners so I wouldnt be alone eating my Iftaar. And the one where Ramsha and Sarosha kept their first whole rozas. How we always had those Iftaars at the Masjid, and then those at so many people's houses.

And it's so strange to see how time has gone by. Now Abu can hardly keep 1 roza due to his diabetes. I know we probably wont ever be able to wake up for Kajla and Pehni again. I'm so grateful I have those memories. And I'm excited now. Because as time goes on, children grow, and Shayan wants to keep his first roza, and Zahra wants to start a hijab (although both are too young for either) xD

Ramadan always brings great tidings for me Allhamdullillah. i cant remember a single one where I didnt learn something fascinating. This year I'm so glad it started while we still have a few days of summer. Today's Sehri was absolutely beautiful. Sarwat Mumani is amazing. She woke up and made us Parhatas and I got to sit with Nanna and talk about random things at 5 in the morning. What more could I ask for? Abu always told me and Farhan about his childhood and how he practically lived at his Mumani's and Chachi's house. I'm super excited that I'll be able to do the same Inshallah =)

I've already decided that I'm going to start this year's self progression during Ramadan by cutting things out. I'm cutting out things and people who dont bring me happiness. Or rather, who make me unhappy. After all, no one likes being hurt. Coming back to Houston for the summer was great, I love being with family and friends. But I also remembered why I chose Waco. If I stay in Houston too long, I eventually end up meeting the people who are still stuck in High School world after graduation. And I really, really dont like that. So I'm cutting out who I need to, and moving on. I dont feel guilty because even though I'm closing the door, I've left the window open. Everyone knows that if they ever need help with anything, no matter how rotten a foot we left each other standing on the last time, they can call me and I'll do everything I can to help. But other than that, dont call me.

Not to say Houston wont be missed. Everyone I wanted to meet I did. Samara, Aneela Baji, Ammara, Maleeha, etc. etc. There are so many people and names! (Except for Neil! That kid is always busy D<) And of course family. Besides, I can never get over just how much i love the diversity of this city. And I do wish I could spend all of Ramadan and Eid here before shifting off, but that's life.

Anyways, before I head off on yet another tangent, I've got a great feeling about this Ramadan. Excitment and Duas in the air and all our hearts 8D time to go do Wudu, pray Fajr, and plop into bed for another couple of hours.

on a positive note: It's Ramadan guys!