RIP Zegham...i wish i knew what to say, but i'm blubbering right now

I found out on my way to Sumera Khala's house. I was in the car with Ammara when Farhan sent me this text: Rmr zegam from danials click? He just passed away, drowned at the beach.. Were going to the hospital right now
It threw me off to say the least, but it was a weird mix of feelings. I mean, i felt shocked but at the same time, the actuality of it didn't register in my mind. I continued to talk to Ammara. went to Sumera Khala's place, everyone had found out that a kid had passed away so it was a constant mention here and there...but I think I started getting really affected when i was outside trying to get in touch with Shoaib for Murk
That's when I really had too much quiet to think..

I remember Zegham from freshman year. we didn't really talk then. really, all I knew was that he went out with murk, but I can recall that whenever i saw him, he was always smiling. and actually, that's the one thing I really liked about him - the way he smiled. because it was quite distinct from what you usually see.
Zegham smiled with his entire face. when he laughed, or was having a good time, his whole face shifted and it was quite amusing, and very warming. One of those smiles that let you know he was a friendly guy and just put you at ease.
Anyways, so freshman year we didn't talk. I just knew who he was.
fast-forward to senior year, now I saw him whenever we had an officer's meeting - Danyal would bring him all the time. That's when I actually spoke words to him.
He would offer some ideas here and there, and crack jokes. he played around with Danyal's younger sister. He joked around with me brother.
Actually, that's where Farhan and Zegham first met and talked, and became somewhere between friends and acquaintances.

After senior year I didn't see him at all. Not in person anyways.
But, and this is really odd, I saw him in a dream just maybe 2 weeks back.
I thought it was the most random thing ever.
The dream had me and Nickkie, and we were in my childhood neighborhood. I had been running through the house, which was a huge maze in my room, and I came out of the front door of our old apartment - 188. Nickkie was standing in the rain, and it was pouring cats and dogs! and I ran to her completely panicked, completely worried, yelling at the top of my lungs so she could here over the rain and thunder *there was no lightening* 'We have to save Zegham!! We have to go save him! What do we do? Where is he? We have to go save him now!!'
I don't remember Nickkie's reaction, but I remember being on the verge of tears when I yelled my last sentence out because for the first time lightening had struck and, even though I had yelled so loudly that my throat hurt, I knew Nickkie didn't hear me.
I turned away from her trying to formulate a plan, think of some way to save Zegham. and as I turned towards the Masjid, I saw him coming. he looked perfectly unharmed, and was smiling with his whole face...and as soon as I saw him lightening struck again over us, it had illuminated his face with this odd blueish-silver light.
I remember feeling so...relieved that he was alive, that he was well, that we didn't have to rescue him because he was alright.
As he was walking towards us he called out "Hey guys! Kya hua??"
Both me and Nickkie ran up to him and he started laughing because we looked absolutely ridiculous - our entire faces were dripping with rain water and tears. And Zegham laughed again and said 'Ithni paareshaani kyun? hain? mei teek hun!'
End dream.

I woke up relieved because Zegham was ok and then it struck me...how in the world did I dream about Zegham? After all this time, after not knowing him well at all, why in the world did I dream of Zegham so randomly?
I still havent figured it out - have no idea what to make of it really... but it was odd
and i feel horrible realizing now that my best memory of him, my most prominent communication and picture of him, was from a dream that flew through my mind from out of no where... - odd and sad things happen sometimes.

Now that he's gone, I wish more than anything that I could have known him better, because I know he was a great guy. I'm praying that the pain everyone is feeling is eased soon, so that they can go from missing him and thinking of his tragic death, to missing him and thinking of all the good times they had with him. Even though I didn't know him so well, I feel like that's how he would want to be remembered, because he smiled, naturally, with his whole face. and to me, that says a lot about a person.

I can see him walking down the hall, taller than all the other boys, laughing and joking. I can see him playing with Danyal's younger sister and messing around with my brother. I can see him smiling, illuminated in the blueish - silver light of lightening. I can see him in the ocean trying to swim in the night. I can see him..I can feel him going beneath the water, struggling to get back up, to tsop choking from the engulfing water and get air in his lungs. I can feel my arms tense because I can feel his arms tense as they reach up for something. I can see him in the hospital, on a bed under white sheets and white lights. I can see all his friends and everyone who knew him with shocked faces and sinking hearts. I can see Murk sobbing, thinking of what, and how, and why. I can see his parents not having any choice but to believe....
I can see him sitting next to me right now... he's got his legs up, very chill. He's reading this as I'm typing it and he's smiling with his face again. I know what he's about to say - "Ithni paareshaani kyun? hain? mei teek hun!'
He laughed with his entire face - I was right.

I wish I had known you better Zegham.
And I know this is going to sound completely insane but, I wish I could have rescued you in my dream, instead of you rescuing yourself...
You will be missed by many, and prayed for countlessly
I can't say much, or offer much, or anything much.
But know this Zegham, of all the deaths I have experienced, I have only ever cried for two people. Once for my Phuppa, and once more for you, because I did not know either of you and I wish I could have.

Inna Lillahi Wa Inna Ilayhi Raji'un