Warning: It's Kind of a Rant

I read a status on facebook that's got me thinking. I wont copy-paste the status because I feel like that would be a privacy violation, but the gist of it was that a Muslim brother said he thought wearing tights in public was stupid because it's like being naked while wearing clothes - sure youre covered, but does it matter if the world can still see the shape of your body?

I was very surprised to see that the comments, from other Muslims were bashing the original poster, saying he had no right to judge, etc etc. When the Muslim women replied, it was blatantly obvious that they were offended by this status, and went on to defend themselves.

Here's where I got thinking - why are the Muslim women so offended?

ok, I understand no one has the right to judge another (although the fact of the matter is, we all judge). And i admit, the wording in the status was harsh. But do I disagree with it? No.

One of the women that replied wrote on about how she prays, she fasts, etc. etc. and messages like this are very discouraging to her and all Muslim women alike. She also wrote that women should be approached with gentleness if change is wanted, and that the Muslim brother shouldn't look in the first place if it bothers him.

Being a Muslim woman myself, I have to say I disagree.

(Be warned, here comes the long tangent)

I dont know if youve noticed but if you ever say something religiously critical, whether it is directed at someone or not, the people around you will get defensive. The 'I pray, I fast, I am a Muslim' argument is quite over used. What i dont understand is, why do people think this a defense?

People need to learn to separate personal actions from public actions and realize they are two different things, that dont necessarily stand up for the other.

You praying and fasting has nothing to do with the topic. Why? Because that is strictly between you and Allah. Whether you pray or not, no one will know unless you tell them. Whether you are fasting or not, no one will know unless you tell them (or unless you eat right in front of everyone).

But the what you wear - everyone sees that.

How you act - everyone observes that.

And you know what, everyone, Muslim or not, will judge.

And I feel like saying he shouldnt look has no validity. You have to look where youre going, and you cant help if every other woman that crosses your path is in tights. I actually feel a little better knowing there is a Muslim brother out there who, when he comes across a Muslim woman actually feel angry disappointed and concerned enough to let it bother him. I feel better knowing that he is not one of the many men who will look at a woman who displaying her body and think lustful thoughts, however briefly. Thank you for caring? (Indeed).

I think, if you are old enough that you can choose your religion, you are old enough to realize you need to follow the religion properly.

If you are a hijabi, and youre out with your head covered but with your body and legs still showing because youre dressing inappropriately and your clothes are too tight, well then I have to ask - what are you doing?

If youre a Muslima, and you have made the decision to represent your religion to the world, for the love of Allah do it right!

-Back to the status-

Like I said, I quite agree with the status. I read the replies, and I thought they were overly defensive. That just tells me that you know you need to change, but you dont want to accept it and feel upset that someone is pointing out a blatant wrong in a harsh manner. (Mind you this was a general status, not directed at one particular person).

Sure, there are nicer ways of putting things. But from my experiences, there's a limit to how nicely you can explain things to adults. Children, growing teens, yes they need kindness.

But if youre an adult, learn to take general criticism and turn it into something positive - a tool that you can use to make yourself better. Instead of defending yourself for the wrong reason.

Honestly, how are you going to be a proud Muslim woman and then defend wearing skin tight clothes?

If youre wrong, youre wrong. Dont defend your wrong (what!). Admit it, and try to grow from and out of it.

Now! I cant just preach to the choir and pretend I'm just all-righteous and perfect (Allah knows I'm not by a long shot) And it would be hypocritical of me to reprimand without setting an example, right?

So now I'm going to take my own advice - give a personal confession and take my own personal steps toward a resolution.

Confession: I curse like a sailor! It's a very, very bad habit.

Resolution: I will control my anger, and I will hold my tongue. If I feel a curse word bubbling, I will make an effort to replace it with a Bismillah/Subhanallah.

Inshallah

My my, what I wouldn't give to be Batgirl + Recipe# 2

Yes Batgirl. Not Supergirl. I don't want to be some goddess-like super hero who has decided to 'humble' myself and do good for an indecisive society.

But Batgirl, hell yeah.

Intelligent, fit, mysterious but approachable - Batgirl kicks butt.

I would give anything to be Batgirl-like. Can't you just imagine it - getting all my readings done for all my classes *even the ones I despise*; being able to do good without drawing so much attention; coming up with brilliant stories and articles in the time it takes me to mentally prepare for them now; so, so much more.

Amazing.

If I could be Batgirl, like I said before, I would kick butt.

But alas, here I am, regular Sobia. Dumbfounded that the day has passed on so quickly, and I've done so little in the time that passed. Crazy.

There is definitely something simple I am excited about though, and as silly as it sounds, I'm going to share it here:

I made my own trail mix.

That's right, my own trail mix. And I am very proud and excited.

It sounds like a small accomplishment, and it is. But I feel like we take time out to acknowledge useless things all the time, so now I'm taking time out to acknowledge one of those little things that just makes me plain happy =)

Anyhow, so I read a blog in the summer about people making their own trail mixes and I thought to myself 'Boy, I'd really like to try making a trail mix of my own tonight!'

But I just never got around to it for so many various reasons, as usual.

But today, I looked into our pantry, and the light bulb above my head went 'Bing!'

So I sat down and compiled all this together (Recipe# 2):

A handful of dried papaya chunks

A handful of sweet dates, not too sticky

2 Chips Ahoy chocolate chunk and white chocolate cookies

A bit more than a handful of namak para *brown people snack - it's basically lightly salted dough, thinly rolled out, cut into diamond shapes and fried*

A decent sprinkling of coconut flakes

4 dried figs

I cut up the fruits into smaller pieces, broke the namak para and cookies in to pieces, and the coconut flakes and tossed it all into a bowl.

It's sweet and salty, and slightly chocolaty, and not bad at all!

Of course, even when I resisted I couldn't help but add at least a little of my brownness to the mix with the dates and namak para. But it all makes for an interesting taste.

Try this mix, or make your own trail mix. It's definitely a lot of fun.

Funny, now that I think about it, but if I was Batgirl, I probably wouldn't have had time to make this awesome trail mix.

Good to have little moments that help you appreciate what you have =)

Recipe Discover #1

Ok so this isn't the first recipe we discovered in our kitchen, but it's definitely one of our most successful ones, so I thought I should share it =)

Caramelized Carrots and Onions:

This little recipe came from one of our improv dinners, and it's very versatile because you add everything to the amount of your liking.

Which means, the awesome thing about this recipe is that it's always a little different =)

Ingredients: 3 or more Carrots, 1 Onion, Brown Sugar, Honey, Red Pepper Flakes.

Steps:

1.Warm up small frying pan -medium heat-

2.Chop up the carrots -round or long, it doesnt matter as long as theyre not too thick- and toss in heated frying pan

3.Slice the onion round and thin, toss in frying pan with carrots

4.Squeeze the honey to the amount of your liking -as long as there's a nice coat on most of the onions and carrots-

5.Add brown sugar, amount to your liking -as long as there's a nice coat on most of the onions and carrots-

6.Just 2 shakes of red pepper flakes, unless you like it really spicy!

7.Stir occasionally to avoid sticking, turn heat off when carrots seem soft and wilted

From our experience this dish goes really well with fried rice:

Take the white rice from your rice cooker, toss it in a frying pan, add soy sauce to your liking -careful not to add too much!-

Stir it around, let it smell delicious, and your done!

Enjoy =)

What makes a Law Unjust? *part 2*

You know now that I think about it, I don't know why I linked this blog entry with my previous one - they don't have much in common at all. Truth be told, I wrote this bit in my journal quite some time ago and I only remembered that I wrote something about laws. Now that I've re-read what I wrote I see that I actually wrote about rights and linked laws and rights in my head as a natural order. Anyhow, my bad for the random part 2, enjoy the food for thought!

I have a friend who once wrote a very interesting essay about rights. She felt that there really was no such thing as rights. That it was a man made idea to control and conform. And I feel like I may agree with her to a certain extent.

You see I understand that rights are necessary; without structure there is chaos. And everything has a structure. Plants, animals, weather, and of course, humans (although humans are by far the most rebellious to that structure). Yet our definition of structure is a completely different term than that of the universe's definition of structure.

We may automatically think of school, or government, or even parents and religion as structure - and they are, no doubt. But they are each a different kind of structure. School and government are absolutely man-made - and for good reason (though that can become skewed sometimes...often). And I feel like parents are a biological structure that are questioned and changed as the relationship progresses. I think religion is a structure that is God-made and tampered with by humans.

Sometimes I feel like God may just be sitting in heaven and smirking at us, lolling (that's right, I said it) in his head at how ridiculously we mess up over the simplest things. And then he lets out a sigh of 'when will they ever learn' and sends us something to grab onto before we completely lose our balance and fall into the vast abyss of silly questions.

Anyhow, the topic at hand was about rights. I feel like natural rights are too tampered with, and that's when they become man-made. Take, for instance, our country. I personally believe that state and church (religious structure) are meant to work together. The fact that we have severed them has caused us to sever our natural rights (and it seems it's been way too long, and would be way too opposed, to go back and fix it now - for this nation anyways).

So i suppose what I'm getting at is that there are a set of natural rights and a set of man-made rights. the man-made rights began with good intentions (i hope) but they get more and more liquefied as our generations pass...our moral convictions are melting. and thus, due to this state of matter change, our natural rights are being tampered with, ignored, and questions by no one other than ourselves.

My thoughts on this are still not completely molded, they are molding. But I do know that, so far, this world has avoided complete chaos - so there must be a set of structures that we have been abiding by correctly so far. However, somewhere along the time line we stopped doing most of what we were doing right, to such an extent that we have far passed the line of minimal safety.

Humanity is hanging by a single thread that itself is tearing. We think we are living the life. We think we have every thing we could have possibly ever asked for. I don't think anyone realizes just how close to chaos we really are. Our natural structure of rights have been severed, and we don't have a big enough band-aid to fix so many generations of boo-boos. Thus, Chaos is in her crypt, sneering and snickering, sensing her time come closer, and she's clicking her finger nails against each other.

I can't remember what mood I was in when I wrote this last year, but I assume it wasn't horribly bright...

Thoughts?

What makes a Law Unjust? *part 1*

So I recently read this blog: http://www.datingish.com/738133691/mother-gives-birth-at-the-airport-strangles-the-child-to-death-dumps-it--proceeds-to-catch-flight/

Super interesting and well written, and of course, it got me thinking. First thing off the bat: the mother's actions were horrific. Being the person I am, I cant even begin to understand how a mother could even conjure such a horrible death for her own child that she carried to term for a full 9 months.

She could have had an abortion.

I know what you're thinking and I'm going to counter you real quick:

I don't know what the laws on abortion are in the UAE but I'm sure they're not lenient. With that said, when I say an abortion I don't mean a nice clean procedure in the clinic, at least not in this woman's case.

I mean straight-up old fashioned wire hanger up the vagina abortion. And that just sounds awful. But the fact remains that she gave birth in an airport bathroom, ripped the umbilical cord out of her and strangled her own baby with it, before dumping it in the garbage can.

With these options laid before us, I think it would have been much more efficient to take option number one. I would much rather deal with an early homemade abortion, than actually giving birth to my baby and then literally strangling it. -the vomit is getting harder to suppress-

Now after revealing to you my twisted mind, we're going to put that option aside and explore another idea this story presents - the law in the UAE.

If you clicked on the link above and read through some of the comments as well, you'll see that quite a number of people believe that the law is wrong and drove the woman to her actions.I disagree. the UAE is an Islamic nation. There is no separation between church and state, church is state. Thus, Sex, i.e. a baby out of wedlock is against the law and is punishable by jail time.

Do I agree with this? Quite frankly, considering the nation, yes. Well, yes to some extent.

Again I feel that rape cases are an exception. If a woman becomes pregnant due to rape, then she is the victim and has no reason to be punished. The offender should be found, locked up, and made to pay child support as well as get served with a restraining order.

Aside from that, having a law like this in a Muslim nation makes sense to me.

In America the laws change according to society. What we deem to be progressive in one generation may be denounced by the next generation. Laws change according to majority opinion - what the majority of the people think is right for the nation is voted on and thus society creates its own laws, changes those laws, and destroys those laws for new ones that we think are right.

In a nation where church and state are separate, that's completely fine.

But Muslim nations do not run on majority opinion because opinions and society change all the time. And not necessarily in a good way.

Example related to this case: PlanB. It's affordable and available for those emergencies you weren't expecting. But instead of dealing with the consequences, well now you have a permanent hall pass to walk down that aisle as much as you like because you know, you've got a back-up.

But PlanB is perfectly accepted in our society. It's helpful and saves people from trouble. (...)

Anyways, my point is that the Quran came down as a permanent foundation for us to have. Because God knew societies, cultures, views, etc. etc. all change. Sometimes for the better, and sometimes not. Society is not always right. And so we have this permanent unchanging text to go back to when the things around us are changing and we begin to wonder what is right and what is wrong. Our foundation is strong and always there to guide us to what God wants, regardless of what society claims God wants from/for us.

According to all this, I don't think the law in the UAE is wrong. I think it's actually abiding to Islamic law in a just manner.

If a man or woman has sex out of wedlock by choice, then I don't think it's necessarily unfair to serve jail time, although I'm more partial to sewing a red A on their garments.

Anyhow, I wouldn't be surprised if some of you are surprised over my thoughts on this. I think I should clarify one more point before ending part 1, and that is that I personally feel the law is created for Muslims and that is why I have no qualms with it -because everyone knows I have a completely different rating system for Muslims-. Of course it applies to every citizen of the land which means non-Muslims there may feel it is unfair. But at the same time, you are choosing to live in that nation, and thus should respect it's laws. The law was made as a means of following Islamic law and preventing Muslims from committing a sin against themselves and God, not necessarily to just punish.

After all, isn't that how laws work here as well? If you do this crime you serve this consequence. It is a means of punishing, but also a means of preventing others from committing that crime.

Just because we don't like a law, or disagree with it, doesn't mean that its wrong.

TBC in part 2 tomorrow Inshallah

This was my final essay for my Xan Justice class

Before you read this paper I feel I should warn you that it is completely, possibly brutally, honest. I considered this question very seriously and with a personal perspective. I am sure that my peers will explain their answer according to Christian values and while I understand that this is a Christian Justice class, the only way I can answer this question is from an Islamic perspective. My answer is completely honest and though I’ve never been in this situation, I feel I have accurately predicted what my reaction would be if I ever found myself in this position.

The final question Wiesenthal asks his readers to ask of themselves at the end of The Sunflower is “What would I have done?” He is asking his readers, if a dying SS solider asked them, on his death bed, to forgive him for the people he has killed, what would their response be? As a reader/listener, I felt empathy but also detachment. To really ask myself this question I had to think of this from a more personal perspective - if a dying U.S. solider from Iraq asked me to forgive him on behalf of all the innocent Muslims he killed, what would my answer be? The truth is, I’m not sure.

This question brings up so many other questions that need to be answered, but cannot be answered. Do you have the right to forgive if you were not the direct victim of this individual’s crimes? And do you have the right to not answer a dying man’s wish on his death bed? How do you answer these questions? If the crime of this individual did not directly affect me, I feel like I do not have the right to forgive him for the people he killed. They suffered for his actions, in a way that I have not and never hope to. Having not suffered at this man’s hands, I feel like I do not have the right to pardon him either.

At the same time, my natural human instincts cause me to feel pity for him. He is dying. He has committed crimes, yes, but he is clearly repenting. He wants to be forgiven by someone he feels is close, in some way, to the ones who suffered at his hands. Do I have the right to not console a dying man? Do I have the right to not fulfill a dying man’s wish? Again, I have no idea. Because even though he has realized his crimes and is apologizing for them now, he still committed those crimes. An apology should always count for something, but the fact also remains that regretful words will not undo the past. A remorseful heart will not undo the harm and pain that was caused. It all still happened. People still died.

I considered, when considering this question, lying. Telling a dying man he is forgiven but not meaning it, if only to console a dying man. It is lying, but would count as a horrible sin if it was done with good intention? But, this alternative grated against my nerves far too fiercely. Even though it would give him peace, and no one else would know, just thinking about this alternative made me cringe. I know I would feel as if all the people who suffered at this man’s hands were now shifting their accusing gazes at me. Besides that, lying to a dying man just seems awful. I cannot give a philosophical answer for any of this, it’s all human instinct. So this alternative is out of the question, which brings me back to square one.

I really do not know what my reaction will be if an actual event like this took place in my life. But, knowing myself, knowing my personality and personal convictions, here is the response I think I would most likely have: If a dying U.S. solider from Iraq asked me to forgive him for all the innocent Muslims he killed, I think my final response would be just this. I would tell him I don’t know. I would tell him that I can see he is sincerely sorry, and that I want to forgive him. But I can’t because I do not have the right to do so on behalf of all those who died. I would tell him I’m sorry his life took the course it did, and that I would pray for him. As a Muslims, I would call him to Islam and whether he converted or not, I would tell him that the God I believe in, and the God his victim’s believed in is just and merciful. And I would hope that the little I could offer would serve as some purpose to console him while he passed on.

-------What would your response have been?

Oh Finals, How I Run From You

So I’m supposed to be studying for my finals, which naturally means that it’s the perfect time for a new post to distract me! At the moment I have nothing frustrating or controversial to rant about (besides finals but we’re just going to avoid that topic for now), so what can I possibly write about?

Well I was reviewing the past few days in my head and I remembered this conversation:

Andrea: I’m sorry, I’m going to finish your jam. I’ll pay for it.

Me: you don’t have to pay for it, I don’t mind.

Andrea: no I’ll pay for it. How much was it, $8?

Me: 8 dollars! Do I really look like I would pay $8 for jam?

Andrea and Nickkie: Yes.

Me……

Which got me thinking, according to Russell Peter’s definition, I’m more Jewish than Indian

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKqdIDxoWBE

I love a good deal. 2 for 3, buy one get one free, free shipping and samples for spending x amount - you get the idea. I swear my browny sense starts tingling whenever I pass a dollar or goodwill store.

Off brand make-up doesn’t bother me. Neither does dollar store lotion, and $5 shoes. For most things my motto is: if it works as well, it works for me.

But there are some things I’m always willing to spend money for, and some things I insist have to be brand name (it’s weird typing this down, I never realized it before).

Here is a short list of some of the things I insist on having a brand name:

-pads. It’s already the most uncomfortable time of the month, why make it worse? It has to be either Kotex or Always, no drug store brands please!

-toilet paper. I hate thin, single layered toilet paper. That stuff dissolves in the frikin package. Charmin please!

-deodorant. I’m brown. ‘nuff said.

-cameras. Why spend half the money for half the quality and ¼ of the life expectancy? If you have to make a technology investment, might as well make it a good one that will last long from the get go. Nikon has proven itself to me. And this goes for computers and phones too.

I honestly think that’s about it…

Things I don’t mind shelling money out for if I have it:

-make-up! If I can get it for a dollar great! But if I have to pay a bit more Revlon or Sephora, I won’t hesitate.

-books! Especially classics. Before I got the Kindle I spent about all my birthday, Eid and Graduation money in Half-price bookstore (just because I’m willing to spend the money doesn’t mean I cant be smart ;) for things like Edgar Allan Poe’s whole collection, Moby Dick, and Homer’s works.

-food I.e. company. I don’t mind snack food and taco bell. but if company is involved, depending on who you are, I have no qualms with going to a fast-food joint as well as a fancy restaurant. Friends and food = an amazing time out and money worth spending. If I don’t like you, I wont want to spend money with you.

Things I have bought off-brand and would buy again:

- clothes. I don’t buy clothes to look good, I buy clothes to feel comfortable in something that will cover me at the same time. If my memory serves me well, I have never spent more than $13 on pants. Most of my pants are $6 or less. Most expensive shirt I own was $20 but it was a gift. Most expensive shirts I’ve bought were the school shirts they sold for $10. Other wise my shirts are $6 and bellow.

- shoes and bags. Most expensive pair of shoes = $33, purchase made due to Nichole’s evil coaxing ways. With that exception all of my shoes are $20 and under. As for bags, well I rarely buy bags so I don’t remember the most I’ve spent on them. But the cheapest bags I ever bought were $1 each at a garage sale! -still so proud of myself for that! XD

- food. Why hallo there Great Value.

So I guess I can see why Nickkie and Andrea would say ‘yes’ so quickly to me spending 8 bucks on jam. Because even though I love being cheap, I love giving into my fancies even more. And if I have the money for it, I do it. Because I don’t consider enjoyment a waste of money =)

What about you? What are some things you insist on having name brand, wouldn’t mind shelling out money for, and things you would take a trip to the dollar store for again? Leave your comments here or tell me on face book!

On a positive ending note: my playlist right now is amazing! Starts with (Shake up Christmas - Train) (Magic - B.o.B.) (Letting Go - Sean Kingston) (I see the light - Tangled Soundtrack) (Your love - Nicki Minaj) (Check It Out - Will I. Am. & Nicki Minaj) (Strawberry Wine - Deana Carter) (Kids- MGMT) (Love Today - MIKA) (Chasing Pavement - Adele) (Rehab - Amy Winehouse) ( Moment 4 Life - Nicki Minaj) (Love Like Woah - The Ready Set)

My my, my entry is just full of lists today!

Good luck on finals all =)